Tomorrow is my dad's 65th birthday and he rang me up and asked me to go to Malayalam church with the family (Pentecostal).  So I just got back a few hours ago and I need to share with people what the stupid pastor at my old church said.

I dont know if many of you agree with this, but according to my old Penti pastor, God is punishing the world.  Usually I fall asleep during his long boring sermons on 101 ways that'll get me to hell in a gasoline suit, but this time I wound up paying attention. 

The idiot started talking about the recent earthquakes we've been having around the world.  He briefly gave a summary on the staggering death toll in Haiti, the 7+ magnitude earthquake in Japan, and then the even more recent 8.7 (not sure, u may wanna check) magnitude earthquake in Chile.  At first I thought he was gonna ask the congregation to send donations, volunteer services or just pray for the lives of those who are lost and the soulds of those who were killed.  No, no, this is my backward Penti pastor we are talking about.

I was kinda surprised when he said "God is punishing Haiti because they are known to practice witchcraft and worship the devil."  C'mon, really?
Then he said the Japanese were a bunch of buddha worshippers (is this even true?) and that they are more concerned with business interests and violence and that is why God punished Japan.  He also mentioned something about idol worshipping, but I missed that part, I kinda got lost in my train of thought.  Next he said the people of Chile were immoral, having sex out of marriage, popping kids left and right (for real, like no one else anywhere does it) and they have the nerve to do this with a statue of Jesus Christ overlooking the entire city.  Finally he talked about Katrina and how N'Awlins deserved it because of their idol worshipping and immorality during Mardi Gras.  Then he tied all of these recent events together by recapping undesputable biblical historical evidence talking about Noah and his dumb ark, the Great Flood and the many sins of the people of that time.  People who were so bad, that God decided to destroy the entire earth and save only Noah and his family and a bunch of animals (including roaches).  Really, a roach is more important than some innocent kid who had parents wore makeup and drank too much wine.  I guess.

But you see, this is the reason why I hate going to Pentecostal church.  And I'm sure that there are alot of preachers of different faiths across the world who gave this same sort of idiotic speech.  The sea floor plates rub too hard together causing an earthquake and these morons attribute it to Sally watching too much Harry Potter movies and Jimmy drinking too much beer Saturday night.  It's stupid, and its a shame that alot of people sit there, nod their heads saying "Yup, its true, its true, Halleluiah praise God". 
I'm a bigot, there's no question, but if its one thing I hate more, it's stupid preachers in their linen suits telling me I'm gonna go to hell and blaming earthquakes, typhoons, hurricanes and blizzards on human beings.  Am I gonna go to Hell?  Ever since I was 2, I was told yes.  My only redemption is to accept Jesus Christ as my personal saviour.  What the hell does that even mean? 
My cousin who goes to a different Pentecostal church in Oklahoma called asking for my dad's number about an hour ago and we got to talking about me leaving the Penti faith (as usual, surprise surprise).  She was so proud of me when I told her I went back to Penti church today.  And we got to arguing (not fighting) about what the preacher said and she informed me that her preacher down there in OK gave a similar speech today, talking about Haitians being devil worshippers and that several years earlier, her preacher said that Katrina victims deserved it for Mardi Gras.  Now, I dont have the time to ring up every Penti person I know and ask them if their pastors also gave similar speeches, but I'm sure that my old pastor and my cousin's pastor in OK are not the only ones who said this bullshit. 
If it wasnt for my dad asking me to go, I would have never went.  I like to just go to church, say my prewritten prayers with dignity and no tears, and just have my body and blood and leave.  Everything else is just not really necessary in my opinion.